


Die Wahrheit ist ein scharfes Schwert

by shuderssea



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Getting Back Together, M/M, Spanish Pet Names, alfonso pining after zven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-13 01:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18022397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuderssea/pseuds/shuderssea
Summary: He doesn't like him like that.After all, Fonso- no, Alfonso- no, Mithy- yeah, that's better-After all, Mithy broke his heart.





	Die Wahrheit ist ein scharfes Schwert

It‘s another 2-0 weekend, and Patrik wants nothing more than to enjoy it, enjoy being in Denmark again, but he can‘t.  
Alfonso- mithy, he thinks with a bitter taste on his tongue- shaved on Monday, shaved off all his hair, those dark curls that Patrik liked so much; he didn‘t talk to anyone about this, just went out of the house, and when he came home, all his hair was gone just like that. Patrik doesn‘t like it, but then again he doesn‘t like Mithy all too much right now, not after what happened last week.  
Patrik still feels stupid when he thinks about it, feels stupid because he should have known- he should have known, should have known that a man like Mithy could never fall in love with a guy like him. He should have known that he wasn‘t anything more than a body to fill the silence with, should have known that there was no way Mithy could want him.  
Patrik is hard, achingly so, eyes fluttering shut as Alfonsos lips ghost over his neck, his colarbone; he tips his head back, bucks up a little bit, urging his boyfriend to go faster, please.  
„ Fons, don‘t tease me.“  
„ You‘re always so eager, Jesper.“ Alfonso says, and then freezes mid-motion.  
He shudders, looking out of the Plane window, trying to block out the noises that come from the woman in front of him, the soft talk of Deficio behind him, chatting with Erlend about something. Those two, they are so happy with each other, because they want each other, for one thing. They want each other, Deficio wants Erlend, and Erlend wants Martin, and they are so sickenly sweet together, Patrik kinda wants to cry. They want each other. Mithy doesn‘t want him.  
He doesn‘t talk too much when they get home, he‘s just tired.  
He‘s been tired the whole week, since Saturday evening to be honest. He was so energetic before Mithy called him „Jesper“, and now he is tired all the time. Tired when he goes to sleep, after scrims, after just waking up- he‘s just tired all the time. Tired and sad.  
Still, he can‘t go to bed just yet, Deficio always wants them to wind down the day together, but Patrik is so tired, he leans against the door and tries his best to stay awake, to not let his eyes fall shut just right there and then; Martin is talking so silently, though, and he feels himself dosing off ever so slightly. A hand on his shoulder startles him awake, and he shrieks back from the person touching him.  
Mithy stands there, hand on his shoulder, a worried smile on his face. Patrik wants to lean forward and kiss that worried look right of his face, but then he remembers that he hates Mithy.   
„ You tired?“ Mithy asks, and Patrik only then realizes that they‘re alone in the room by now, and how long has he been dosing off against the door?  
„ Whatever“ Patrik mumbles, but he has to rub his eyes; the motion makes Mithy drop his hand and his skin burns where Mithy touched him.  
„ Let‘s go to bed“ Mithy says, and for one second Patrik is startled, wishes for nothing more than to just follow Mithy into his room and cuddle against him; he shakes that feeling off, because he doesn‘t like Mithy, he tells himself, doesn‘t like him.  
„ Night, Mithy“ He says simply, looking anywhere but at Mithy, and turns away. He‘s halfway up the stairs when he hears steps after him, and then a hand wraps around his wrist.  
„ Patrik“ Mithy says, „I‘m sorry“  
His skin is burning where Mithy touches him, but Patrik always had a bit of a self-destructing habit, so he stands still.  
„ I don‘t care“ He says, feeling proud that he doesn‘t give in immidiately, doesn‘t immidiately falter and give Mithy everything he wants.  
„ I swear, I just need time- i like you, Patrik, i like you so much. Zven isn‘t even answering my messages.“  
„ I don‘t care about Zven“ Patrik spits out, „I don‘t care about Zven, or you, for that matter. But I care about not being lied to when I hand you my whole heart on a fucking platter.“ He spits out, secretly proud that he manages to keep his voice so well in control.  
„ I didn‘t lie to you“ Mithy says, „I just- I need time. Please, believe me, Patrik, mi amor-“ Mithy starts, and that makes Patrik snap around.  
„ You don‘t get to use pet names with me, you-“ He begins, and stops mid-motion. Somehow, even Mithy had sounded so guilty, he had imagined him just standing there like usual- but that‘s not it.  
Two steps below him, Mithy stands there looking nearly helpless, big eyes and a worried, pained expression; he looks like he‘s shaking ever so slightly, freezing as well.  
„ You called me Jesper“ Patrik says silently, „When we were about to have Sex- you don‘t get to use petnames with me. You don‘t get to use anything with me.“ He says.  
„ I think I could grow to love you. I just need time.“ Mithy says, „Patrik, I like you very much. Just give me a little time, mi sol.“  
„ You don‘t get to use that with me“ Patrik repeats, „You don‘t get to use me.“ He says, breaks off the grip that holds his hand, turns around again. He wonders if that‘s what self-respect feels like, because it feels pretty damn bad. He wants nothing more than to turn around and kiss Mithy senseless,wants nothing more than to get held by Alfonso, wants to be with him all the time. He loves Fonso, after all.  
But he‘s scared. He doesn‘t want to be just a simple, plain substitute for Zven. And right now, he knows that he wouldn‘t be anything more than a warm body for Mithy.  
He curls up in his bed; he doesn‘t know that Mithy stands in front of his door for at least a hour and contemplates if he should knock, say something more, but by the time the first knock comes, Patrik is already asleep. In his dreams, Mithy ghosts through his brain.  
„ You‘re so pretty, mi sol“ Alfonso whispers, and Patrik relishes in the way the soft lips press against his shoulders, the way Fonso fucks up into him, brushing his prostate with every move, „So pretty when I have you all too myself, mi angel, mi sol, mi estrellas- i love you, Jesper.“  
Patrik wakes up crying.  
He‘s tired the whole of Sunday, slumping in his chair, and he hears Jonas talk softly to Mithy about it, and he wishes that Mithy wouldn‘t say he is going to take care of it- because Mithy has all sorts of dumb ideas from America- but Mithy does nothing, and Patrik doesn‘t talk to him.  
He thinks that Mithy might just have forgotten about it, but a week passes, and Patrik is still exhausted, equally sad even though they managed to win everything again, which is so good for them.  
But he lies in his bed, so tired, but he can‘t sleep, when it knocks on the door.  
„ Yeah?“  
It‘s Mithy, and Patrik can‘t even argue when he settles behind him, murmuring something about Stress-relief; because, well, a pair of hands massaging his head really does make him feel less exhausted, and he has to stop himself from enjoying the hand in his hair too much- he closes his eyes and he can‘t stop the soft hum that comes over his lip. For a second, Mithy stops.  
And then:  
„ I was thinking, the last two weeks.“  
Patrik says nothing, because he heard everything the last week, and he doesn‘t even like Mithy anymore, not when he so clearly doesn‘t want him. Just because he does something nice, namely not let Patrik die from exhaustion and being sad and tired all the time, doesn‘t mean that he likes Patrik. He probably doesn‘t. He doesn‘t want Patrik.  
„ I was thinking why I couldn‘t forget Zven.“ Mithy starts, and Patrik pulls away, but Mithy has his hands on his shoulders in no time and pulls him back.  
„ I don‘t care“ He says.  
„ I need you to know-“ Mithy says, and Patrik doesn‘t care, he doesn‘t! But he can‘t do anything else but listen, „I thought I wasn‘t over Zven, and all the time- i was just too shy and too dumb to admit what i should have known.“ Mithy says.  
It‘s quiet for a second.  
„ I love you.“  
Patrik is up so fast he nearly blacks out for a second; Mithy is still sitting on his bed, Patrik is standing now, a little bit dazed but mostly he‘s just. Shocked.  
„ You don‘t get to lie to me.“  
„ I‘m not“ Mithy says, and then he says it again, „I love you, Patrik. There‘s no other explanation. Because, yes, I called you Jesper, but in my dreams, I only ever see you. And i‘m not into Zven any longer, because he doesn‘t have me at my toes like you do, so, there‘s no other explanation, mi estrellas. I love you.“   
Patrik is so baffled, he falls back onto his bed, and Mithy still hasn‘t stopped talking.  
„ I know I hurt you, and I know I don‘t deserve you, mi amor.“ Alfonso says, Patriks head is still ringing. Alfonso said he loves him. He loves him.  
„ But I‘m not lying to you, and I would do everything to prove that.“ He mumbles then, „I‘m truly sorry.“  
Alfonso looks like he‘s said everything he needed to say, and so he stands up, with a soft smile and a sad shimmer in his eyes; and Patrik realizes, now is his time to act.  
Sure, he‘s been heartbroken, but Alfonso is wearing his heart on his sleeve right now, and he loves him; Alfonso is standing there and smiling ever so slightly, then turns around.  
„ Fonso.“ Patrik says, and Alfonso smiles so bright that Patrik feels his chest get warm, like a small flame burning inside him.  
It‘s not perfect, and it still kind of hurts, but maybe they can work together on whatever is still between them, and he smiles back slightly when Alfonso starts running his hands through his hair again.  
„ Fonso“ Patrik mumbles, already getting sleepy, „Fons. I love you.“  
He‘s asleep before he fully registers his words, and asleep while Alfonso mumbles to him.  
„ Mi sol, mi amor, mis estrellas y todos de los planetas.“ 

 


End file.
